What if I fail?

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all, in which case, you fail by default."

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.
A couple nights ago, I was sitting with a friend, giving a lovely bottle of wine a mercy killing, slow, easy and inevitable.
As is the way of such nights, we talked of hopes, frustrations and fears. Always fears.
So many fears revolve around my temporarily stalled career.
As anyone who is out of work will tell you, your professional life may be on hold, but the rest of your life strolls along, oblivious to the problems posed by the former.
We  talked of strategies, possibilities, and how this circumstance can strip you down to your core self, as Ms. Rowling addresses here. She also directly addresses the very real problem of a creative individual trying to endure in a world that does not always value creativity.
That's a bit of a conceit. What do creative people do? In essence, as Laura Dern's character said in an episode of the great series The West Wing, we try to get people's attention and hold that attention as long as we can. While we have their attention, we try to tell them the truth.
And if we're skilled AND lucky, we are given coin for our efforts.
Imagine the audacity. I did what I wanted and expected to profit from it! As though life was to be enjoyed, not dutifully trudged through! 
So a truth and some coin.
If we do not phrase that truth in a fashion palatable to the buyer, whether through our lack of control of our craft or their disinterest in our wares, we don't make a sale. We don't make a sale, we need that most blessed and cursed of things: the day job.
You know, the one you're not supposed to quit to be an artist. Or a writer. Or a musician.
Funny, nobody tells an aspiring architect, lawyer or doctor not to quit their day job. The presumption is that those professions are paths to success. But creativity as a path to success is at best a worry, at worst a shame for the loved ones of those who navigate that path.
A creative life has numerous rewards.  It also has the potential for crashing failure.
Back to Ms. Rowling. Fear of failure can be a motivator.

So what if I fail?
What actually happens when we fail?
Well, depends on what we're trying to do.
If we're trying to thrive in the world and fail at that, we risk our health, our relationships, and our personal stability. This can have an adverse effect on those who care about us, to say the least. They can be as confused and upset by your circumstances as you are.
As a case in point, within the course of three days, I had the same close friend tell me she feared I was clinically depressed and then that that she feared I was oblivious to my situation, a contradiction I would have found amusing if it wasn't so irritating.
But unless you really have your home taken from you or fall prey to a malady that does you permanent harm, these conditions are all temporary.
The work of life is balance. The tight-wire of being unemployed or underemployed is more precarious than some, but it can be walked, however gingerly.
The challenge for those of us with a burn to create is twofold. Work for someone else while you work for  yourself. It takes twice the drive of someone who only wants a job and time off to spend with loved ones (mind, I'm not sure such people exist- few if any are that apathetic, that they fit the sad model of the opening Rowling quote).
If you are smart, talented, driven and lucky, not necessarily in that order, you may be able to replace the part of the equation that says "work for someone else" with "surivive on your creative work."
That world has a very different set of rules. More on them later.
For now, don't worry about failing.
You will fail. We all will.
And this is good.
Once you have survived that, in the words of Alan Moore, there's nothing left to threaten with.
You are free.