The Six Stages of Unemployment: No. 3: Fear

There are some things you should be afraid of.
Jumping into a fire (except possibly to save a life), consuming poisons,  engaging in unwarranted fisticuffs, and trying to make sense of a conversation with someone who's drunk come to mind.
Should you be afraid when you no longer have a job?
Yeah!
Not having a job means your resources are limited in monetary and social terms. Not having a job means you have a reduced means of contributing to the world, at least in a conventional sense.
If you're NOT scared by those prospects, you're not paying attention.
What is the advantage to fear?
Fear helps us avoid reckless behavior in dangerous situations. That's good. It enhances our potential for survival.
However.
Fear also inhibits actions. Fear can immobilize.
As observed in past posts, lack of action is not a great path to take when engaged in a job search.
You need to be methodical and cautious, since your resources are at risk of being diminished or possibly depleted.
So you must accept the reality that this is a scary situation. But you can't let that stop you.
About seven years ago, I attended my first faculty in-service shortly after being hired at a new college.
During the "what did you do with your summer?" round-Robin, my new peers talked of travels, books coming out, family adventures, making films, applying for grants, and so much more.
At the time, my admiration was unbounded. I thought, "wow, these people are fearless."
While I still admire these people and their achievements, I no longer see them as fearless.
I've come to realize that they simply don't let their fears stop them.
When we are trying to replace a job, fear is not only natural, but inevitable. After all, getting the job in the first place was a big adventure, and it's easy to see having that position usurped as being powerless. Nothing generates fear quite like being without power, or seeing yourself as such.
But you must, as Yoda says, control your fear.
Act!
Take deliberate steps to change your situation. But while being deliberate and exercising reasonable cautions, don't let those cautions hinder you from taking new risks. Yes, the stakes are higher. But more to lose also means more to gain.
Next: Stage four, unless something happens between now and then.

How the wheel squeaks: networking and informational interviews

I haven't posted here for a bit. This blog is about coming to terms with the job search process, and sometimes that calls for a scattergun volley of the frustrations in the process. Other times it calls for introspection.



As I've worked with career counselors at one of my alma maters in the last few weeks, I'm beginning to realize an unexpected benefit to the part of this process at which I'm worst: networking.
The whole thing about networking and informational interviews eluded me. It seemed opportunistic.
You should be able to get a job on your own merits, right?
Sure.
But one of the up sides of the networking/informational interview thing is that those skills are also part of your merit set.
You're not hired solely due to your professional acumen in a field, unless it's a rare field in which you work in total isolation. You're also hired because your personality contributes something to accomplishing the goals of the organization that's taking a chance on you.
So continuing to hone the skills of being yourself through these two processes is also part of your career search.
It's also emotionally healthy.
One of the things that's most daunting about being out of work is that a big part of your life is gone. That's isolating. The more you can do to be in the world, the better off you'll be.
Doing informational interviews and networking, while not primarily social activities, both help to flex your social muscles.
When you do get another job, and you will, you're going to have to hit the ground running. It's in your best interests, and your employer's, to be as prepared as you can. Being in the world and interacting with others in any professional capacity is a great step in that process.
Like any muscle, it moves better when it's used more frequently.

The Six Stages of Unemployment: No. 2: Rejection

I know this paints a grim picture, but one of the requirements for being out of work is being rejected. That's what you do now. You get people to say no to you, as often as possible, until, to torture an overburdened cliche', you get to yes.
Because unless it's a job offer that you decline, which is rather uncommon in today's market, as long as you stay out of work you're going to hear two things repeatedly.
The first is"no".
The second is "not yet".
Every CV sent out, every interview that does NOT end with a job offer is a rejection, if you look at it as a binary. It's yes or it's no.
Either you're hired or you're not.
And after a while, "buck up, little camper" wears a bit thin.
This is where it gets really tough. Every day can seem like another long dark night of the soul.
How do you weather it?
Again, let yourself feel it first. Work through those emotions as honestly and quickly as you can. Then get back to work, if you've stopped for that part of the process.
The work:
Ask yourself the necessary questions. Is my material up to snuff? Do my CV, cover letter, portfolio and references say what I want them to say about me as a professional?
But don't JUST look to yourself. consider external possibilities, or you run the risk of magnifying every aspect of your life into a series of failures. And down that path lies doom. Wallowing in despair has an indolent appeal to some, but the pay is lousy. So look to external, as well as internal, factors in your rejections. Some, possibly many, of the reasons you're not hired may have little or nothing to do with you.
In that sense, although it's a major part of your life, it's not necessarily personal.
They might have had someone else in mind for the position all along. The interviewer might have had a lousy day. The interviewer's own job might be at risk. In some (very few) cases, the interview process is just a way of building a pool of available applicants in anticipation of a later turnover, or possibly with an eye towards an internal restructuring.
The thing is that even if you ask, you can't always know.
And the way I see it, it's fine to ask. If the company in question has decided on someone else, trying to find out what factors went into the decision is valid. It has a couple risks. You might be seen as a sore loser, or desperate.
Sidebar: I've never understood why it's bad for someone in a desperate situation to seem desperate. It's not a poker game, it's your career. So long as you don't bring your emotional issues to the interview table and embarrass the interviewer, I see nothing wrong with being quite clear that you both want and need the job. Why else ould you be asking for it?
But by asking why you were rejected, you can learn not only about any missteps in your job search dance, but possibly learn a bit more about the career in which you seek to advance.
The second thing, "not yet", can be much harder to hear.
"We don't have anything for your exact talents at the moment" implies that the organization may have a need for you down the line. All well and good, but most people looking for work have imminent needs.
When you hear this, it's vital to plan a time frame to check back with them. I often make such inquiries when told this. If you are given a time frame is vague, or no specific time frame at all, pick an arbitrary time based on industry trends. In most cases, 4 - 6 weeks is a reasonable time to check back.  Then immediately add that follow-up to your datebook, planner or whatever organizational tool serves your process.
Next: Stage 3.

The Six Stages of Unemployment: No. 1: Shock

Even when you see it coming, like Peter Parker, the original Hard Luck Kid, it's a shock to no longer have your job.
Jobs are a bit like relationships. We gripe about them nonstop, and when they end, we're more than a bit sad and often surprised.
Think about it. You're used to a set of conditions and have built significant parts of your life around them, even if you don't always care for them. And when they do stop, even if it's your idea, your sense of comfort with a part of your own life is taken away. And the longer you were at the job/relationship, the deeper the shock, even if it is coupled with the relief of something unpleasant ending, as is sometimes the case in such circumstances.
What do you do?
First and most important, start dating again.
Begin looking for work immediately. This process will be full of fits and starts. Asking for something that you recently took as a given in your life takes some adaptation on your part.
Also, know that even though it's crucial, accept that you may not be able to do this particular thing right away.
You've just been handed a pretty significant setback. Your whole life has just been reshaped. Its akin to being whacked upside the head with a two by four. Not everyone has the wherewithal to stand right up and run a marathon, which is what you must do in a job search.
The core message of all these posts is the same. You're going to feel bad about it. Not accepting that will extend the process and feel worse.
Dealing with the shock is the hardest.
Talk to your friends and family nonstop. You'll want to talk about things besides being out of work, just so they'll put up with you. Nobody wants to listen to a broken record forever. But the less time you spend out of your own head, the sooner you'll be better. This will also give you the advantage of perspective. When you have a big new problem, reminders of other peoples' problems will help you keep balance. These reminders will also help you remember that you still have something to offer, especially if you can be of help to someone else.
There's much more to say on this, but this will serve for now. I must get back to work on my cover letters!
Next: step two.

The Six Stages of Unemployment

Well, you don't have to hanged by the neck until dead to see your way through being out of work.
Fortunately!
But when you do lose your job, some things you don't anticipate will happen to you.
Your life will change in ways you don't expect, and at the time, probably don't want.

Much like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's theory on dealing with death, I've broken the process down into six stages. Strangely, just as you adapt to being without work, so too you must go through a grieving process when you get work again. Some parts of the cycle will recur when you are once again employed! This is because your life is again changing in unexpected ways, and you have to acclimate to yet another way of living.

Dr. Kubler-Ross, late in life

The six cycles I've identified are
1. Shock
2. Rejection
3. Fear
4. Immobilization
5. Desperation
6. Resignation
This is much like Dr. Kubler-Ross's five steps of dealing with death, but it has some distinctions. Also like that cycle, you may not experience these things in that order. But odds are you will experience them all.
That makes sense, because when you have your job removed from your life, someone has died- the person you were when doing that job in those circumstances no longer exists.
The important thing about this is to not be a brave soldier.
Wallow in it. Not forever, but long enough to deal.
Unless you have the will of a machine, you're going to feel bad whether you acknowledge it or not. The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you can get back to the work of your life.
Also, bear in mind that some of that work does not stop when your job is taken away!
In the next couple weeks, I'll explore each of these steps.
If you disagree with my take on this, have at it! A job search, like democracy or life itself, is a work in progress, not a place for easy answers!

Disproportional curves

jumping though hoops indeed!

Some random thoughts on the frustrations of the job search process:
1. The less skilled the job, the longer the application. I recently filled out a 25 page application and a 100 item questionnaire for a retail job. I guess they want to be sure you're not going to steal some trinket, or that you're savvy enough to give the required answer to the questions.
Silly.
But we do it anyway.
The corollary of this is the paradox of a credit check as a condition of employment. If you're potentially working with sensitive material or with funds, this makes a measure of sense. But when people are out of work, their credit invariably takes a hit, since their revenue stream becomes inconsistent. So if your credit rating goes down because  you're out of work, and it adversely effects your potential to be hired, you can't get a job because you need one. Several states have done away with this unreasonable practice, and others are working on it.
2. Does it strike anyone else as odd that there's a disproportionate curve to having work? If you have work, it's usually easier to get more. As my friend Connie Moore noted, people don't necessarily want to hire you because you're the best for the job. Many people want to hire you to prevent someone else from hiring you. It's a strange kind of one-up-manship. It's not necessarily that they want your skills so much as they want someone else to not have your skills. If you doubt that, next time you're employed, tell your supervisor that you've had another offer. Odds are they'll match it.
Your skills haven't changed. Your value to the organization hasn't changed. The only difference in your skills is that someone else wants them.
3. Conversely, once you are not working, it's much harder to start again. Depending on your skill set and the marketplace, it's almost always easier to change jobs than it is to get a new one when you don't have one.
4. The phrase "not working" has pejorative connotations. It can be read as not functioning, or broken. When someone doesn't have a job, presuming the individual remains sufficiently motivated to keep their hand in in their chosen profession, their skills are just as valid. Let's lose the stigma associated with joblessness, shall we?
Proper terminology can be our friend. I recall the old Emo Phillips joke: "I lost my job. Well, I didn't actually lose it. I know where it is. But I go there and there's this other guy doing it!"
5 By the same token, it's crucial to respect potential employers, not just because they might be able to grant you a means to a livelihood, but because they're also human beings, and they have their own set of problems and crises that transcend the send CV - interview - thank you note - month later follow up that is now de rigeur in the job search dance.

Job Fairs and surprises

I'm wrong more often than I care to admit.
For example, yesterday I attended a Job Fair at a local for-profit college.
I thought it would live up to Bart Simpson's axiom, that it's possible for something to suck and blow at the same time.
My previous experience with such things has been less than satisfactory. I've been exposed to people trying to talk me into schools I had little or no interest in attending, menial jobs with little pay and no future, and the brutal and unrewarding (to me, at least) world of cold-call sales.
This time it was different.
A different batch of employment options.  A different batch of employers. A more receptive and less mercenary batch of recruiters.
Everyone was honest. Everyone was genuinely respectful and enthusiastic.
And I met a number of people with whom I might be happy working.
I even got a very real lead on my favorite type of work, teaching college!
So what was different this time?
The economy was different. It's been at least a decade since I last attended one of these.
My skill level was different. Last time I went to a job fair, i was unfocused, trying to find ANY job, with career experience that no longer worked in a changing marketplace.
Most significantly, I was different.
It reminds me of the old Mark Twain joke: "when I was 18, my old man was stupid. By the time i was 25, I was amazed at how much smarter he'd become."
I don't pretend to understand everything. But I think I've learned that the cynicism and fear that I used to use to shield myself from my own real or perceived inadequacies didn't work. I also learned a bit about respecting people who chose paths in life other than mine. In being more open to them, I learned that I could get more from experiencing them. I know how hokey that sounds, but it has vast application to the job search process.

It's an old saw that you and a prospective employer are interviewing each other. Take that a step farther. While it is far from the primary function of the interaction, it's also possible, and in many cases more than worthwhile, to learn something about the person you're interviewing, and in so doing, expand your knowledge of yourself. That in turn increases your potential assets that you can offer to an employer.
Employers, at least smart ones, don't hire resumes or recommendations. They hire people.
That doesn't mean your qualifications don't matter. Those are what get employers to listen to you as a candidate in the first place. But once your CV has their attention, they're not talking to a piece of paper, they're talking to you.
Give them someone worth talking to.