The Six Stages of Unemployment: No. 3: Fear

There are some things you should be afraid of.
Jumping into a fire (except possibly to save a life), consuming poisons,  engaging in unwarranted fisticuffs, and trying to make sense of a conversation with someone who's drunk come to mind.
Should you be afraid when you no longer have a job?
Yeah!
Not having a job means your resources are limited in monetary and social terms. Not having a job means you have a reduced means of contributing to the world, at least in a conventional sense.
If you're NOT scared by those prospects, you're not paying attention.
What is the advantage to fear?
Fear helps us avoid reckless behavior in dangerous situations. That's good. It enhances our potential for survival.
However.
Fear also inhibits actions. Fear can immobilize.
As observed in past posts, lack of action is not a great path to take when engaged in a job search.
You need to be methodical and cautious, since your resources are at risk of being diminished or possibly depleted.
So you must accept the reality that this is a scary situation. But you can't let that stop you.
About seven years ago, I attended my first faculty in-service shortly after being hired at a new college.
During the "what did you do with your summer?" round-Robin, my new peers talked of travels, books coming out, family adventures, making films, applying for grants, and so much more.
At the time, my admiration was unbounded. I thought, "wow, these people are fearless."
While I still admire these people and their achievements, I no longer see them as fearless.
I've come to realize that they simply don't let their fears stop them.
When we are trying to replace a job, fear is not only natural, but inevitable. After all, getting the job in the first place was a big adventure, and it's easy to see having that position usurped as being powerless. Nothing generates fear quite like being without power, or seeing yourself as such.
But you must, as Yoda says, control your fear.
Act!
Take deliberate steps to change your situation. But while being deliberate and exercising reasonable cautions, don't let those cautions hinder you from taking new risks. Yes, the stakes are higher. But more to lose also means more to gain.
Next: Stage four, unless something happens between now and then.

The Six Stages of Unemployment: No. 2: Rejection

I know this paints a grim picture, but one of the requirements for being out of work is being rejected. That's what you do now. You get people to say no to you, as often as possible, until, to torture an overburdened cliche', you get to yes.
Because unless it's a job offer that you decline, which is rather uncommon in today's market, as long as you stay out of work you're going to hear two things repeatedly.
The first is"no".
The second is "not yet".
Every CV sent out, every interview that does NOT end with a job offer is a rejection, if you look at it as a binary. It's yes or it's no.
Either you're hired or you're not.
And after a while, "buck up, little camper" wears a bit thin.
This is where it gets really tough. Every day can seem like another long dark night of the soul.
How do you weather it?
Again, let yourself feel it first. Work through those emotions as honestly and quickly as you can. Then get back to work, if you've stopped for that part of the process.
The work:
Ask yourself the necessary questions. Is my material up to snuff? Do my CV, cover letter, portfolio and references say what I want them to say about me as a professional?
But don't JUST look to yourself. consider external possibilities, or you run the risk of magnifying every aspect of your life into a series of failures. And down that path lies doom. Wallowing in despair has an indolent appeal to some, but the pay is lousy. So look to external, as well as internal, factors in your rejections. Some, possibly many, of the reasons you're not hired may have little or nothing to do with you.
In that sense, although it's a major part of your life, it's not necessarily personal.
They might have had someone else in mind for the position all along. The interviewer might have had a lousy day. The interviewer's own job might be at risk. In some (very few) cases, the interview process is just a way of building a pool of available applicants in anticipation of a later turnover, or possibly with an eye towards an internal restructuring.
The thing is that even if you ask, you can't always know.
And the way I see it, it's fine to ask. If the company in question has decided on someone else, trying to find out what factors went into the decision is valid. It has a couple risks. You might be seen as a sore loser, or desperate.
Sidebar: I've never understood why it's bad for someone in a desperate situation to seem desperate. It's not a poker game, it's your career. So long as you don't bring your emotional issues to the interview table and embarrass the interviewer, I see nothing wrong with being quite clear that you both want and need the job. Why else ould you be asking for it?
But by asking why you were rejected, you can learn not only about any missteps in your job search dance, but possibly learn a bit more about the career in which you seek to advance.
The second thing, "not yet", can be much harder to hear.
"We don't have anything for your exact talents at the moment" implies that the organization may have a need for you down the line. All well and good, but most people looking for work have imminent needs.
When you hear this, it's vital to plan a time frame to check back with them. I often make such inquiries when told this. If you are given a time frame is vague, or no specific time frame at all, pick an arbitrary time based on industry trends. In most cases, 4 - 6 weeks is a reasonable time to check back.  Then immediately add that follow-up to your datebook, planner or whatever organizational tool serves your process.
Next: Stage 3.

The Six Stages of Unemployment: No. 1: Shock

Even when you see it coming, like Peter Parker, the original Hard Luck Kid, it's a shock to no longer have your job.
Jobs are a bit like relationships. We gripe about them nonstop, and when they end, we're more than a bit sad and often surprised.
Think about it. You're used to a set of conditions and have built significant parts of your life around them, even if you don't always care for them. And when they do stop, even if it's your idea, your sense of comfort with a part of your own life is taken away. And the longer you were at the job/relationship, the deeper the shock, even if it is coupled with the relief of something unpleasant ending, as is sometimes the case in such circumstances.
What do you do?
First and most important, start dating again.
Begin looking for work immediately. This process will be full of fits and starts. Asking for something that you recently took as a given in your life takes some adaptation on your part.
Also, know that even though it's crucial, accept that you may not be able to do this particular thing right away.
You've just been handed a pretty significant setback. Your whole life has just been reshaped. Its akin to being whacked upside the head with a two by four. Not everyone has the wherewithal to stand right up and run a marathon, which is what you must do in a job search.
The core message of all these posts is the same. You're going to feel bad about it. Not accepting that will extend the process and feel worse.
Dealing with the shock is the hardest.
Talk to your friends and family nonstop. You'll want to talk about things besides being out of work, just so they'll put up with you. Nobody wants to listen to a broken record forever. But the less time you spend out of your own head, the sooner you'll be better. This will also give you the advantage of perspective. When you have a big new problem, reminders of other peoples' problems will help you keep balance. These reminders will also help you remember that you still have something to offer, especially if you can be of help to someone else.
There's much more to say on this, but this will serve for now. I must get back to work on my cover letters!
Next: step two.