What if I fail?

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well have not lived at all, in which case, you fail by default."

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.
A couple nights ago, I was sitting with a friend, giving a lovely bottle of wine a mercy killing, slow, easy and inevitable.
As is the way of such nights, we talked of hopes, frustrations and fears. Always fears.
So many fears revolve around my temporarily stalled career.
As anyone who is out of work will tell you, your professional life may be on hold, but the rest of your life strolls along, oblivious to the problems posed by the former.
We  talked of strategies, possibilities, and how this circumstance can strip you down to your core self, as Ms. Rowling addresses here. She also directly addresses the very real problem of a creative individual trying to endure in a world that does not always value creativity.
That's a bit of a conceit. What do creative people do? In essence, as Laura Dern's character said in an episode of the great series The West Wing, we try to get people's attention and hold that attention as long as we can. While we have their attention, we try to tell them the truth.
And if we're skilled AND lucky, we are given coin for our efforts.
Imagine the audacity. I did what I wanted and expected to profit from it! As though life was to be enjoyed, not dutifully trudged through! 
So a truth and some coin.
If we do not phrase that truth in a fashion palatable to the buyer, whether through our lack of control of our craft or their disinterest in our wares, we don't make a sale. We don't make a sale, we need that most blessed and cursed of things: the day job.
You know, the one you're not supposed to quit to be an artist. Or a writer. Or a musician.
Funny, nobody tells an aspiring architect, lawyer or doctor not to quit their day job. The presumption is that those professions are paths to success. But creativity as a path to success is at best a worry, at worst a shame for the loved ones of those who navigate that path.
A creative life has numerous rewards.  It also has the potential for crashing failure.
Back to Ms. Rowling. Fear of failure can be a motivator.

So what if I fail?
What actually happens when we fail?
Well, depends on what we're trying to do.
If we're trying to thrive in the world and fail at that, we risk our health, our relationships, and our personal stability. This can have an adverse effect on those who care about us, to say the least. They can be as confused and upset by your circumstances as you are.
As a case in point, within the course of three days, I had the same close friend tell me she feared I was clinically depressed and then that that she feared I was oblivious to my situation, a contradiction I would have found amusing if it wasn't so irritating.
But unless you really have your home taken from you or fall prey to a malady that does you permanent harm, these conditions are all temporary.
The work of life is balance. The tight-wire of being unemployed or underemployed is more precarious than some, but it can be walked, however gingerly.
The challenge for those of us with a burn to create is twofold. Work for someone else while you work for  yourself. It takes twice the drive of someone who only wants a job and time off to spend with loved ones (mind, I'm not sure such people exist- few if any are that apathetic, that they fit the sad model of the opening Rowling quote).
If you are smart, talented, driven and lucky, not necessarily in that order, you may be able to replace the part of the equation that says "work for someone else" with "surivive on your creative work."
That world has a very different set of rules. More on them later.
For now, don't worry about failing.
You will fail. We all will.
And this is good.
Once you have survived that, in the words of Alan Moore, there's nothing left to threaten with.
You are free.

Temp on!

So about this job I had last weekend....
It was a 2-day temp job, answering phones, fielding walk-in questions, compiling survey results and generally minding the store at a motorcycle show.
Fun people, good working conditions, if anything, I could have stood having more to do.
Still, I filled the terms of my contract and then some.
Made a couple quick bucks- not a fortune, by any means, but it does help!
Now about temping.

Anthology based on the concept of a superhero temp agency

Temping is having someone else sell your services and take a cut for their efforts. The employer contacts the agency, who in turn provides the labor (you) from a pool. It can be a very good deal for all concerned. The entity for which the work is done has minimal employer responsibilities, the employee makes some money and so does the employer.
And in rare cases, like that of my niece, working for the agency itself can become a career!
As an old girlfriend of mine once noted, temp agencies are de facto pimps.
That's a bit harsh, but there's a measure of truth in it.
But at its best, temping is advantageous to the employee too.
It allows you to try a job on for size. It gives you time to assess your place in the work world in general, and in the structure in which you are placed specifically.
In short, temping can be a transitional device for getting back into the work force.
Temping can serve a great many other functions.
When I was working as a temp at an insurance company one summer, I met a woman who worked as an archeological illustrator. There were only a couple dozen people in the world in her profession. She'd go on digs and draw the findings, making notes and a different kind of record than one could get through photography or handling the artifacts in question, the latter not always being practical.  During the off season, she picked a place she'd never lived before, or on rare occasion, one she knew and liked, and temp till the season for digs started up again and she was called to another nation to dig (though she sometimes got digs in the US).
This unorthodox example offers another possibility of temping. It affords an employee the opportunity for a very different life.
We're not all meant for the business world, and the labor classes are slowly getting easier to thrive in, but not there yet (more on that in another post). It's good to have a structure available that recognizes that.
It's like clothes shopping. How can you know if it fits if you don't try it on first?
Temping isn't really a career, it's a hundred related careers.
The down side is that temps don't always have work for you.
Then again, these days, who does?
As always, it's a question of choosing a path and walking it till you find another that suits you!

The difference between a job, a career and work?

I got a new job.
It's not a BIG job, only part time. A nine-month contract to work on a special event. Total remuneration: $3,000.00.
It's not going to help me a lot. Financially, it will reduce my unemployment benefits short-term.
I don't care.
I like working! I like being able to get something done in the world, I like the challenges and frustrations. I get to interact with new people, established colleagues and professionals from a field related to work I've done before.
Since this is related to work I've done before and want to do again, it can also be seen as part of my career.
A career (dictionary):
noun
an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.
• the time spent by a person in such an occupation or profession : the end of a distinguished career in the navy.
• the progress through history of an institution or organization : the court has had a checkered career.
• [as adj. ] working permanently in or committed to a particular profession : a career diplomat.
• [as adj. ] (of a woman) interested in pursuing a profession rather than devoting all her time to child care and housekeeping
So the career is not just about the work, it's about choice and duration. That implies a great measure of control. But consider the following supplemental definition:
verb [ intrans. ]
move swiftly and in an uncontrolled way in a specified direction : the car careered across the road and went through a hedge.
I like that. It also says a career is an adventure. As defined by a former intimate of mine, an adventure is anything that CAN kill you, but DOESN'T.
So a career is a wild ride through long-term work of your own choosing.
So what's work?
Dictionary:
noun
1 activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result : he was tired after a day's work in the fields. See note at labor .
• ( works) [in combination ] a place or premises for industrial activity, typically manufacturing : he found a job in the ironworks.
2 such activity as a means of earning income; employment : I'm still looking for work.
• the place where one engages in such activity : I was returning home from work on a packed subway.
• the period of time spent during the day engaged in such activity : he was going to the theater after work.
3 a task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person or thing has to do : they made sure the work was progressing smoothly.
• the materials for this : she frequently took work home with her.
• ( works) Theology good or moral deeds : the Clapham sect was concerned with works rather than with faith.
4 something done or made : her work hangs in all the main American collections.
• the result of the action of a specified person or thing : the bombing had been the work of a German-based cell.
• a literary or musical composition or other piece of fine art : a work of fiction.
• ( works) all such pieces by a particular author, composer, or artist, regarded collectively : the works of Schubert fill several feet of shelf space.
• a piece of embroidery, sewing, or knitting, typically made using a specified stitch or method.
• (usu. works) Military a defensive structure.
• ( works) an architectural or engineering structure such as a bridge or dam.
• the record of the successive calculations made in solving a mathematical problem : show your work on a separate sheet of paper.
5 ( works) the operative part of a clock or other machine : she could almost hear the tick of its works.
6 Physics the exertion of force overcoming resistance or producing molecular change.
Pretty much as expected, aside from the last one. Work is forcing change. A career is a wild ride through long-term work of your own choosing. So a career is a constantly changing wild ride, ideally one that pays reasonably well!
In order to have this ride, someone has to agree to employ you. That's called GIVING you a job. I don't see where the giving part comes in, since it's a barter of services for specific remuneration. Seems to me it's more like contracting for a job, ANY job, no matter how big or small. If it's a gift, it's a gift to both parties, the employer and the employed.
Now what's this job thing?
Dictionary again:
noun
1 a paid position of regular employment : jobs are created in the private sector, not in Washington | a part-time job.
2 a task or piece of work, esp. one that is paid : she wants to be left alone to get on with the job | you did a good job of explaining.
• a responsibility or duty : it's our job to find things out.
• [in sing. ] informal a difficult task : we thought you'd have a job getting there.
• [with adj. ] informal a procedure to improve the appearance of something, esp. an operation involving plastic surgery : she's had a nose job | someone had done a skillful paint job.
• [with adj. ] informal a thing of a specified nature : the car was a blue malevolent-looking job.
• informal a crime, esp. a robbery : a series of daring bank jobs.
• Computing an operation or group of operations treated as a single and distinct unit.
verb ( jobbed, jobbing )
1 [ intrans. ] [usu. as adj. ] ( jobbing) do casual or occasional work : a jobbing builder.
2 [ trans. ] buy and sell (stocks) as a broker-dealer, esp. on a small scale.
3 [ trans. ] informal cheat; betray.
4 [ intrans. ] archaic turn a public office or a position of trust to private advantage.
Then, considering all meanings, a job can be thought of as something difficult, sometimes deceptive (as in surgery), sometimes immoral or illegal (as in bank job). But most often, it's a duty.
So to work at a job that supports your career is to do your duty to yourself in the constantly changing wild ride of your career.
When you look at it that way, the stability of the 50-year gold watch job seems rather mundane.
Here's to my new job, the latest leg of my wild ride!



Of course, since it's VERY part time, I still need a job!

Book review: I Found A Job!

In my ongoing reassessment of career, I occasionally turn to job search manuals, which I have found to be of limited help in the past.
This time out, I looked for one such manual/self-help book that said something more pragmatic than the rest, one that honestly addressed the daily needs of a job seeker.
Marcia Heroux Ponds' I Found a Job! is half of that book (note: two separate links there, one for the author,the other for the book).

My big problem with these books is simple. They fail to recognize the reality of the situation. This one is more practical than many, but still has a myopia that's chafing.
Case in point.
It's great advice to save up six months of living expenses in anticipation of being out of work. Pounds recommends nine months to a year's worth as a more pragmatic goal. Well, it's quite pragmatic, but people don't always have that luxury. Some paychecks aren't sufficient to that end. And sometimes things happen so suddenly there's no time to prepare. So if you're out of work and haven't already done that, it's worthless advice.
Along the same lines, yes, it's a good idea to present yourself professionally at all times when you're unemployed. It's true, you never know what situation will spontaneously become a job interview. It happened to me a few weeks ago, submitting an application for a PT gig and suddenly finding myself chatting up the manager about my career goals and the skills I have to offer. Me standing there in jeans! I addressed the situation directly, acknowledging that this is not appropriate attire for an interview, and was reassured by the manager that yes, she was aware of that and that it wouldn't count against me. I pointed out that my clothes were clean and in good repair, and we have a nice chuckle about it. Situation saved. I still have a shot at that job, which won't open up for another few weeks and could serve me well for a long time.
So what's wrong with that advice then? Why not present professionally at all times? Seems reasonable.
Sure it is.
But.
Well, you should as much as possible, but when you're out of work, your resources diminish and it's not always possible. When you have fewer resources, you have to plan their use very strategically.
To end a sentence with an infinitive, it also depends on what kind of work you're out of.
That's my big problem with this book and many like it. They presume that everyone is a business professional with an established career. There's little or no acknowledgment of people who have unorthodox career paths or don't work for Fortune 500 companies.
Again, this book is better than many in that respect. There's a chapter devoted to carving out your own career path. There's some laudable and pragmatic advice for folks considering a freelance career or a business startup. And I suppose there are unemployed people who have the resources to buy a franchise, one of the options Ms. Pounds suggests.
But like much of the advice in this book and others of its ilk, it's not always practical. Yes, networking is a good idea, one I practice as much as possible, though I prefer to think of it as nurturing friendships and seeing career growth as a happy dividend of that. But I'm sorry, when I'm managing limited funds, I'm not skipping off to the local coffee shop daily as she suggests.
In fairness, it needs to be noted that Ms. Ponds is a business columnist for the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, and so is likely to approach the issue from a corporate standpoint. But we're not all in the corporate world, and it would be refreshing to read a job search book that fully recognized that fact.
This may seem harsh and nitpicky, but there are realities that people who are in a job search have to face.
This book is better than many in facing these realities, but it seems largely aimed at people looking for high-end jobs. That's not all of us, and it shouldn't be. Despite a largely practical chapter on managing finances while job seeking, this book glosses over a crucial fact.
Yes, looking for a job is a job. But it's a pro bono job. While you have this job, you are your only client. And in many cases, you can't afford to pay yourself what you're worth.
Negotiating the strategies of daily life with a reduced or no income while looking for work requires tremendous strength and a great skill set, including the capacity to strategically approach a crisis.
Those skills and strengths are of great use in many, dare I say, most jobs.
The challenge is getting an employer to see them!

"So tell me about yourself...."

What a boring question that is.
The answer's not boring, but the oft-repeated question is.
Well, okay.
Here's every job I've ever had, in chronological order, starting at age 11!
Gas station attendant
Bakery order packer
KFC cook
Road crew worker
Trucking crew assisant
Burger King cook
KFC cook again
Accounting assistant, Public School bus garage
Retail clerk, Sears Automotive
Foundry worker (shakeout, grinder)
Plaster caster
Dishwasher
Bartender
short order cook
prep cook
Theatre usher, janitor, box office and concession worker
Theatre manager
Receptionist
Factory line worker
Medical kit assembly
Retail commission sales
Assistant manager, video store
Personal care attendant
Papermaking assistant
Art exhibition setup
Teaching assistant, summer program
Adjunct faculty, technical college
Adjunct faculty, art college
Crew leader assistant, US Census
Adjunct faculty, art college
So what's the point?
Very few of us have direct paths, yet the job hunting process is geared towards only recognizing specific, directed skills.
"have you done this all your life?"
"Not yet..."
This is in part due to marketplace strictures. After all, if you have a choice between someone with 45 years of direct experience and someone with 45 years of transferable skills, it's likely that you'll hire the former.
But you could be doing yourself a disservice.
Someone with a wide range of experience knows how to adapt to different environments. That person also has skills and confidence in a wide range of areas. You're missing a bet by not hiring that person!
Of course, this is a call for an employer to hire me, but it's also a general call for a new vision on the part of employers.
Not giving someone a chance to use any of their skills wastes all those skills.

Photo from the Library of Congress Archive!

Keep on Working!

This is work, but it's also a joy.
But then, most work is, in one way or another.
Bear with me.
I'm jobless at the moment. But I still have plenty of work to do.
I'm far from alone in these things these days.
Yet most advice I get, from professionals or acquaintances, despite being very well intentioned, drives me up the wall. there's things about this situation that you don't fully get unless that's where you are.
So rather than fume about it, I've decided to try to come to terms with the situation and my response to it.
This blog is an ongoing record of my attempt to understand and thrive in a world that's always eluded me (by choice, design, or a combination of the two) - the world of business and money. I'm no stranger to various kinds of work, but parts of that world... hmm...
Two or three times a week, circumstances permitting, I will post thoughts and updates. I'd like to see something pragmatic on these issues. Most books or professionals in the field address the situation of unemployment and underemployment in a way that seems to miss something. So I'd like to offer more of an insider's view.
Sometimes it will be philosophical, sometimes sad, sometimes exuberant. These are tough times, and hard to understand. I'll post strategies and results, and invite my readers to do the same.
I'll try to make it worth reading, and fun to read. It will be honest writing, but nobody likes a sad chick, so I'll keep it balanced.
I'll leave this opening salvo with a song I've always loved. It's on point, but I'm really nowhere near as morose as the song suggests!